The theme of collaboration seems to be arising more for entrepreneurs these days. As we begin to understand the scope of the challenges facing the world, many of us are drawn to joining forces in order to achieve more than we can through our own spheres of influence.
At the same time, collaborating with others brings a new set of challenges.
Have you ever found yourself repeatedly avoiding a critical conversation or reluctant to disagree with someone? It seems to be part of human nature to avoid conflict within one’s immediate community, particularly in business.
This makes sense as a social survival instinct, but what is the cost to the end result and to the group when you don’t bring everything you can to a critical situation?
The lesson was brought home to me when I was a new manager at Autodesk in 1990. I was sent to a week-long leadership development retreat that all managers had to attend. We were organized in teams and faced with numerous challenges to solve using our collective wits and available resources.
One particular challenge has stayed with me over the years, a simulated whitewater rafting accident. Our “waterlogged” team had to decide which supplies would be a priority to keep after losing most of our carrying capacity.
I disagreed with the team consensus which was to jettison the sleeping bags among other items, but at the time I figured “Well, since I’m the newbie in this company and they seem to all agree, I’ll keep my mouth shut.” Well, it turns out that my team “died” due to hypothermia from the lack of sleeping bags!
If the situation had been real instead of simulated, my reluctance to rock the boat could have cost lives!
From that point on, I realized that every voice on a team matters, no matter what assumptions we may have about what others know or don’t know. I’m not advising shouting matches here, but rather the practice of responsibly bringing your opinion to the table, no matter what the social contract might seem to be.
This wisdom was proven to me again and again in my years as a lead software engineer. By encouraging responsible “creative conflict” rather than discouraging disagreement, our products contained the best thinking of everyone on the team, rather than being limited to the design ideas of the ones with either seniority or the loudest voices.
Have you ever hired a consultant and found yourself biting your tongue when you didn’t get what you wanted, because they were supposed to be the expert? Perhaps you found some excuse to discontinue their services.
But imagine instead giving real and compassionate feedback, so that you could develop a more effective working relationship and not have to start over with someone new. The same principle applies when developing business partnerships and strategic alliances. The impact that you make on the other by being direct will ripple out to all of their working relationships.
From this perspective, a willingness to bring the truth of what you know to critical situations and challenging conversations benefits the business community as a whole. All it takes is a willingness to show up and be real — and to walk the sometimes clumsy path of learning what may be a new skill, that of disagreeing in a way that strengthens a relationship.
Since the challenges facing us as individuals and as a global community can no longer be solved by one heroic leader or one area of expertise, the time for creative collaboration that evolves through graceful disagreement could not be better!
Be sure to check out the books I recommend by William Ury, a master on this topic, on my Business Communication Skills section under “Professional Development.”