When I was in college I fell in love with karate. I was a mathematician at CalTech practicing karate and rather repressed, so I loved the chance to yell, spar and exert myself full out. The teacher was an internationally known karate master, and he gave me my first experience of meditation and waking up to what he called “the crystal moment.”
The “mind over matter” warrior training was invaluable as I learned to face my fears and move past them to accomplish great feats of endurance. I was so inspired by his teaching I earned a black belt.
But over the years I found that the brute force approach of pushing to “just do it” didn’t work to overcome the kind of resistance I felt to living the life purpose that called me.
You can’t fulfill your life mission by overcoming any part of yourself with force, because your highest calling requires every particle of your being. When you are fully on purpose, nothing you’ve ever learned or experienced will be wasted. You will feel completely utilized in your life like never before.
This is why the kind of inner alignment required to be a changemaker in the world requires much gentler and subtler intervention. It’s more like the art of aikido – you don’t meet strength against strength, but rather take the energy and direction of a part of your psyche opposing you and then redirect that energy in a better way.
When you listen to what any resistant subconscious part of you really wants, you can use that desire as fuel to redirect its behavior in a way that serves your higher objective.
For example, a client I’ll call April discovered a part of herself that she called “The Proper Lady” who wore white gloves and held a china tea cup while insisting that April should not express her strength because ladies don’t do that. Another inner part that April called “The Wild Man” was full of rage at being kept in a cage.
In order to be fully resourced, April needed to create harmony between these two parts of herself. Brute force could not do the trick, but compassionate listening to what each part really wanted followed by a series of negotiations led to a new level of integration.
April gained a much higher level of functioning from both parts. “The Proper Lady” evolved into “The Gracious One” who took the job of ensuring everyone April met was treated with graciousness and kindness. “The Wild Man” became “The Doer of Big Things” who wanted to be the force enabling April to accomplishing audacious goals.
What parts of you are still at odds and preventing you from making the difference you are called to make in the world? Where are you trying to change them with brute force, when only a gentle aikido-style intervention will do?
