Every so often there comes a time when we lose the flow of our life, and our forward momentum gets sluggish or stopped. You know something new or bigger is calling you, but you can’t see your way through to what’s next.

Does this sound familiar?

There are three steps to navigate when you feel stuck and in the fog:

  • Acceptance,
  • Curiosity, and
  • Agreements

Acceptance of the condition you find yourself in is mission-critical, because if you belittle yourself, the instinctual reaction to your self-criticism will cause your innate resourcefulness to shut down. Our psyches are very quick to withdraw in the face of perceived threats, whether internal or external.

Imagine instead recognizing that lack of clarity is part of the natural progression of moving into something new. Remember that, given time and attention, your relationship with the unknown will inevitably shift.

Next, the spirit of playful curiosity with yourself opens up the sense of fun, reward and resourcefulness. In the absence of judgment, it is much easier to follow the threads to see what is calling you and what is in the way.

For example, perhaps you are feeling dissatisfied with your work, but don’t know what you’d rather be doing instead. You have a sense that something is missing, but don’t see how to get started making a change. Getting curious might mean exploring what part of you that was hidden before, is emerging now and longs to be expressed.

If curiosity doesn’t naturally lead to easy brainstorming about options that would fit who you are becoming, then self-agreements to address fears and concerns are the next step.

What fears and concerns do you have about what’s next, and what agreements do you need to make with yourself to address those fears and concerns?

Following our above example, perhaps you’re feeling fears of failure, loss of reputation, and financial insecurity about making a change. If that’s the case, you might make agreements with yourself when making a change to get regular feedback  from those you respect, plan to have at least three people who believe in what you’re doing, and ensure that you have at least 6 months living expenses in the bank. These agreements are essentially a risk management strategy that, if done skillfully, will prevent your fears from coming true.

Where in your life could you use more acceptance, curiosity, and agreements?