Do you long to find more fulfilling work, but you worry about ending up just as miserable at your next job? Or maybe it’s another fear that is impacting you. Whether it’s fear of making the wrong choice or something else, these worries can leave you feeling stuck.
For many people, this kind of stress can make it easy to see things with black-and-white thinking. To free yourself from that, try exploring your fears and find ways to avoid having your worst fears come true.
Finding What You Need to Navigate Your Fears
Take Wendy, for example. She was miserable at her job but felt completely stuck. When we worked together to identify her main fear, just the fact of shining light on it started to ease her mind.
Shining the light in this way has a wonderful way of simplifying fears.
Wendy was afraid she’d make the wrong choice and end up miserable again. So, after some exploration, we discovered that her best way to avoid this was to check in with herself after every interview, to see whether she felt excited or drained.
With this commitment in place, Wendy felt a newfound freedom and was happy to move forward with her job search.
Working Through Your Own Fears
- Get present. Find a time when you’re not under pressure. Take a few deep breaths and tune into your body to get grounded. You might give yourself some time to take in your immediate surroundings.
- Identify your main fear. Gently imagine: what’s the worst that could happen? Zero in on one primary fear. For example, you might worry about taking a job with a lower salary.
- Notice how it feels. Pay attention to what happens in your body when you identify this specific fear. Stay in touch with your feelings. They have much to tell you about what you need.
- Find your safety strategy. Then, do some brainstorming and imagine what would need to be true to prevent that fear scenario from becoming real. For example, if income is the most important thing, you could commit to staying in your current job until you find a new one with the salary you want.
- Check in with yourself. Does the agreement ease the fear, or do you need to tweak your commitment a bit more before feeling complete? Or perhaps a new agreement might be needed. Continue with these steps until you feel yourself relaxing into possibility.
This process can be repeated with any fears that arise.
So if you feel stuck about starting a job search, take the time to explore your worst fears and discover what you need to make it safe to begin.
