Do you find yourself saying “yes” when you really want to say “no” instead?
This is particularly challenging if you already feel overwhelmed.
It could be one more project from your boss when you already have too much on your plate, or a request to meet a friend at a time that is scheduled for some desperately needed alone time.
You do it, you say “yes,” and then it costs you.
If this happens, get curious about what part of you is saying “yes,” and why.
A journaling inquiry is a great way to do this.
Start with “What’s right about saying ‘yes’ when I really want to say ‘no’?”
Just write whatever comes to mind without overthinking, and then write what’s important about that answer, and repeat the process until you feel that you’ve gotten to a core limiting belief.
It might look something like this:
“What’s right about saying ‘yes’ when I really want to say ‘no’?”
“Well, I don’t want to disappoint them.”
“What’s important about not disappointing them?”
“I really like to think of myself as being available when people need me.”
“What’s important about being available when people need me?”
“If I’m not available when they need me, then they won’t respect/value/love me anymore.”
“Ah! That sounds like a limiting belief – that being available on call is a requirement of being respected/valued/loved!”
Now that you’ve found a core limiting belief, find a part of yourself that has the opposite perspective and get curious.
“What would it mean if I didn’t have to be available on call to be respected/valued/loved?”
“Let’s see. Then I guess I’d need to find a gracious way to say ‘no’ when I need to!”
See what possibilities open up for you when you imagine living without that limiting belief!
