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Are you feeling a mismatch between your outer world and your inner calling? You might be feeling restless and frustrated with a sense of something missing, or even numb to the heartache of your lack of inner alignment.

Whenever there’s an inner/outer mismatch, it means that you are holding at least two competing agendas within yourself.

At times like these, it’s great to get curious about the parts within your psyche that are directing your agendas. You can have a written conversation with these parts and negotiate a win-win, just as if you were chatting with another person.

Here’s an example. A client I’ll call Debby felt called to start a business that served mothers returning to the workforce, but she felt overwhelmed and kept dragging her feet.

Her conversations went as follows:

Debby: I’d like to talk to the part of me that is dragging my feet.

Dragging Feet Part: I’m worried that we won’t measure up. I don’t want us to appear lame or mediocre.

Debby: What do you need to feel good about starting our new business? What would prevent us from appearing mediocre?

Dragging Feet Part: Well, let’s see. I’d feel good if we did some market research to really understand our target audience. I think you are going too much on your vision without grounding it in practical reality. And, I want us to set up checkpoints every quarter to hold us accountable rather than just “going with the flow.”

Debby: We could do that. Do you need anything else?

Dragging Feet Part: That would do it for me.

Debby: Okay, what part would you like to be called going forward, if you didn’t have to drag our feet?

Dragging Feet Part: How about the Practical Part?!

Debby: Great, thank you Practical Part! And now I’d like to talk to the part that wants this business. Tell me what matters to you.

Business Vision Part: I see a beautiful future with grateful clients. It’s inspiring and I don’t want us to get bogged down in too many boring details.

Debby: Thank you for holding the vision. What do you need so we don’t get bogged down with too many details?

Business Vision Part: I want you to spend time with me at least once a week, and more often if you start dragging your feet again.

Debby: That’s perfect! Now I know how to handle those times. Thank you so much!

Once you have gathered all the agreements that are necessary to regain that sense of alignment with your calling, don’t forget to write them down where you’ll see them every day. There’s nothing more frustrating than finding a solution to your dilemma only to lose track of it and then end up back where you were before.

It may be tempting to try to overrule some parts of yourself, but every part serves – it just takes some investigation to gain the wisdom each part offers. As their inherent wisdom comes to light, they can serve you more directly because they no longer need to block you just to get your attention.

Have fun with your conversations!