To transform society into new paradigm ways, we need to transform our own behavior. It’s not easy, because the new ways of operating that we are learning challenge the inner and outer status quo.

One of the old paradigm perspectives that needs revisiting is the idealization of the individual hero. All our myths about the hero’s journey celebrate personal accomplishments. Darwin’s writings on cooperation as a key factor in evolution were largely ignored in favor of his natural selection theory promoting the value of competition.

How do you feel about the hero archetype? Do you think you need to do it all yourself in order to prove you are worthy? Would it feel like weakness otherwise? Or maybe you like to have full creative control over the things you care about most.

Many of us focus too much on personal effort, whether it’s initiating a project or launching a new brand. If this is you, particularly in service of a better world, you may need less “just try harder” and more “just reach out more.”

It’s common to feel that transformation is a private journey, and to forget that returning to wholeness includes the reality of our tribal nature, and that we greatly expand our capacity when connected.

The kind of changes we need to make in the world require our full heart and soul. Individual efforts will not take us out of old-paradigm thinking. Letting ourselves be inspired and held accountable by like-minded others allows us to stretch our capacity for what’s possible while keeping our hearts open.

When I left the corporate world 12 years ago to start a business coaching practice, I blindly continued my Type-A behavior and tried to force the growth of my business. I was so used to hiding any sign of weakness from my colleagues and staff that I didn’t know any other way to be with fellow coaches.

Luckily my body rebelled from working so hard through a series of physical breakdowns which served as a wakeup call. In order to be present to facilitate the transformation of others, I had to stop soldiering and find a new way forward that allowed for the nourishment of connection and shared responsibility.

Are you trying to create new paradigm results with old paradigm heroic methods?

Here are some common limiting beliefs that might be keeping you from reaching new capacities through the blessings of community collaboration:

  1. I don’t need any help because I know what I need to do.
  2. If I don’t push my agenda, nothing will ever change.
  3. If I let people know I need help, I will lose respect in their eyes.
  4. No one else will really understand what I’m trying to do.
  5. If I invite others into my creative process, I’ll lose control of my vision.

What beliefs might be keeping you from receiving the full benefit of a shared hero’s journey?

As change agents, we need the kind of ongoing mirroring and reinforcement that allows us to gain traction in those slippery places so that we can reach new heights.

Building a new world from the perspective of “We” rather than “Me” allows our deepest intelligence and wisdom to arise, take shape, and have a bigger impact on the world.

What new forms of “We” are you willing to explore right now?