How are you doing in this unusual time? The world looks very different than it did a few months ago. And the changes have definitely not been minor!

What happens for you when unexpected change hits and things feel uncertain? You probably have a familiar automatic strategy to handle this type of situation, because your ego has developed it over your lifetime.

The question is, are you generally resilient and resourceful in times of change and uncertainty, or do you get derailed from your purposeful path?

If you are feeling derailed right now, it’s a good time to get curious about what defense mechanisms are distracting you from the fulfillment of your purpose.

One of my favorite questions in times like these is “What is it that I don’t want to feel right now? Trying to avoid certain feelings, particularly ones tied to your early wounding, is one of your ego’s most effective protective mechanism.

Unfortunately, the consequence of this strategy is that it produces the opposite of resilience because it closes off part of your resourcefulness.

For example, you might want to avoid feeling that the world is unstable by going numb.

Once you find the feeling you’re avoiding, the next step is to look for any early experience that brought up the exact same feeling. If you find that you don’t want to feel that the world is unstable, did your early environment often feel unpredictable and insecure?

After connecting the dots, separate out your early experience from your present experience. How much of what you are experiencing is unresolved from your early years, and how much is a healthy adult response to present-time stress?

Give tender care to those parts of your psyche that are still reacting to early wounding. Find out what they need to resolve those painful feelings rather than avoiding them.

Then take the time to notice what new layers of resourcefulness become available in this process. A whole new world becomes available as you expand your capacity to experience feelings that were previously intolerable. As you deepen your connection with your whole self, it becomes much easier to find the purposeful flow of being on track again.

Let me know how it goes – and stay safe and connected!